Merfolk Tales
More Than a Swim
The ocean was already part of life for many of the women who became part of Merfolk Tales. Lee was swimming most mornings when she started thinking about the advice she had always given her children: “you must have a buddy; it’s not a good idea to swim alone.”
She asked her friend Sandra if she wanted to swim regularly, at a regular time. Every Tuesday, regardless of the conditions, they turned up. For a while, it was just the two of them. Then they started posting about their swims on Facebook, and slowly, other women began to join.
For Lana, Merfolk Tales offered a way into a new place and a different stage of life. She had moved from Geelong and missed a friendship she had built around swimming in the bay there. She shares, “When I got to WA, I was alone, by myself, adjusting to an empty nest. The ocean was important to me, I knew that, but I didn’t have my tribe here.” She saw something online about a group that met every week and contacted Lee. The messages they exchanged beforehand helped ease some of her anxiety about coming along for the first time. “I wouldn’t say I was necessarily introverted, but having that back-and-forth helped put my mind at ease before turning up. And then when I did turn up, I remember looking around at these other women in the water and thinking, ooh, ‘this feels big”!
A patchwork quilt of connection
Many of the other Merfolk members found the group through Befriend’s network of community groups. Ingrid joined a local Geocaching group by happenstance after stumbling across them on a coastal walk; then she started walking with the Sunset Walkers because she didn’t want to walk alone, and from there, someone encouraged her to try Merfolk Tales.
Jackie’s experience followed a similar path. One Befriend group led to another: Knitters and Knatters, Merfolk Tales, Yarnies, and Meditation. Jane was introduced to Merfolk by a friend and subsequently became involved in Tai Chi for Beginners and Mindful Yoga. Cathy came along after her sister told her about another Befriend group. The pattern is one we see often throughout the Befriend Social Network: that one connection often leads to another.
You just turn up at these groups… and sometimes you’re not quite sure what you’re looking for but… it all just works out.
Come as you are
The name Merfolk Tales was chosen deliberately. The group wasn’t intended to be serious or competitive, and there is no expectation to keep up with anyone else. Group-goers can float, walk on the beach, swim, bring a pool noodle and bob-and-chat… It’s just about being present with one another. This detail is an integral part of the group’s design; informality is important and it creates a low entry point for people. Sandra shares “we live in a world where many people, just like us, don’t just want to sit around and have a coffee. We want to embrace life with movement and joy but we always have to worry if we’re good enough to do something”. She shares “we worry about joining a tennis group because we might not be able to get the ball over the net”.
Amongst this, Merfolk Tales, somehow feels like a gentle antidote to that.
The group has also developed practical ways of making it easier for new people to join. Lee says “I always try to put myself in the shoes of someone who is putting themselves out there, and I ask how can I make that first step as small as possible?… because it’s so hard for people to just turn up to something”.
They meet at the same place, look out for anyone arriving alone and pay attention to people who might need a little extra support.
One woman arrived and stood at the edge of the water, frightened because it had been a long time since she had swum. The response was straightforward:
Can you swim? Because that’s all you need… we will stay with you the rest of the way. We’re here.
Another member was recovering from hip surgery and was devastated that she couldn’t swim. As soon as she got clearance, the group collectively said “okay, we’re getting you back in the water!” They picked her up, walked with her into the water together with her pool noodle, and said “it’s okay. We have you. We’ve got you.”
The unspoken mantra of come as you are is woven into how the group meet one another without judgement, in the present moment.
Sandra shares “we actually don’t have a lot of knowledge or history about one another and we don’t need to. We only share what we want to share, because, really, none of the past matters. We’re just all here, and that’s what matters. All you need to do is turn up and give it a go.”
More than a swim
From the outside, Merfolk Tales might look like a group of women meeting for a swim but the conversations tell a different story. In the water, people talk about travel, share community knowledge, give advice and share life updates. And for many, the social connection has become as important as the ritual of a morning swim.
This is our third season. This is much bigger than coming for a swim. It’s the social connection you get. It’s so important.
The health benefits of being a part of a vibrant network of community groups is often noted. Jane says “the effects of swimming, yoga, and being outdoors together has some unexpected side benefits… I’m sure my balance is better now!”
And collectively, they also describe changes in how they feel after attending.
My demeanour is much more positive, my mood is lifted… my day is so much better for going.
Cathy describes the difference her husband notices after she has been to Merfolk: “My husband can tell where I’ve been because I’m just radiating after Merfolk.”
For another member, the group provides a level of social connection she otherwise wouldn’t have. “This is the only social connection I would have… it’s a life saver.”
The connections spread
The relationships formed through Merfolk Tales haven’t stayed at the beach. The group created “Swim Buddies”, an informal WhatsApp group where members can organise additional swims, find someone to go out on a boogie board with or make plans when they can’t attend the regular session.
The connections have also extended into other activities. During winter, when swimming happens less often, members continue seeing each other through bushwalking, writing, gardening and other groups.
Sandra describes the wider network simply: “Most of the people I know now I’ve met through Befriend.”
Ingrid, who moved from Germany, describes the effect of finding these overlapping groups: “It changed my whole world for me, moving from another country, especially without any of it costing money! It seems like we all belong to some of the same groups and we overlap with different people at different times.”
Finding a place to belong
The women who joined Merfolk Tales arrived for different reasons. Some wanted a swimming buddy. Some had moved to Western Australia and were looking for their tribe. Some were adjusting to retirement or having children leave home. Some were simply looking for ways to enrich their social calendars.
The group has become a place where those different circumstances can sit alongside each other, in the water, without judgement or expectation.
People don’t have to swim every week. They don’t have to be particularly outgoing. They don’t have to know anyone when they arrive. They can come for the ocean, the exercise, the conversation or the company.
For Jane, the difference between swimming alone and being part of Merfolk is significant: “I used to swim alone previously but now, we have that conversation. It’s really become a community.”
That sense of community is perhaps most apparent in the small things: noticing who has arrived, staying beside someone who is nervous, sharing a recommendation, inviting someone to another group, or simply knowing there will be familiar faces at the beach on Tuesday morning.
What started with two friends deciding to swim together at a regular time has grown into something broader – a regular activity, a network of friendships and a pathway into other parts of local community life. It’s a wonderful example of ‘building a community out of a hobby’.
And as Sandra puts it, Merfolk Tales is “much bigger than coming for a swim.”
