“The main reason I did that was because Lee needed the support… not so much to get on the “Befriend Wagon”, per se. But then the more I did it, the more I got used to it, and then there were other [Befriend] events I went to, and more social things”.
Garry is the one of the Hosts of the Burns Beach Sunset Walk and the Neil Hawkins BBQ, alongside his co-host, Tim. A Perth local for 30 years, he’s always been active in his church community, although it’s through retirement that he’s become more involved in various social groups and with Befriend.
“I probably wouldn’t have had the time until retirement, really. I wasn’t actively out doing things in the community before… more related to church involvements. I have more time to do things now.”
After hearing about the Burns Beach Sunset Walk six years ago from Lee, the group Host at the time (who has since gone on to become Befriend’s Community Builder in the Far Northern Suburbs), Garry decided to head along with a group of friends.
“It was a nice thing to do, for exercise, to be healthy, to see some sunsets, and to be social in the community with a few friends. It was something to look forward to at the end of the week.”
The Burns Beach Sunset Walkers
After some time as a regular walker, Garry offered to take on some of the hosting responsibilities when Lee experienced some ongoing health challenges. This in turn, led to more community connecting opportunities.
“I started to be a co-host to help Lee as sometimes she couldn’t always be there. The main reason I did that was because Lee needed the support, that was why… not so much to get on the “Befriend Wagon”, per se. But then the more I did it, the more I got used to it, and then there were other [Befriend] events I went to, and more social things”.
The Burns Beach Sunset Walk has since grown to have multiple people willing to take on the hosting role, sharing the support and responsibilities to ensure the group continues to thrive.
Through Lee’s community building work, she’d connected with a local called Tim. Tim shared that he enjoys the outdoors and was keen on hosting a fortnightly Befriend BBQ alongside another experienced Host who could support some of the logistics. Lee put on her match-making community building bonnet and thought of Garry, with his calm presence and who makes others feel so at ease.
“It was Tim’s idea. Lee approached me with it to tell me about it, and see if I wanted to get involved. We met with Tim and had a chat about it… and now it’s the end of our third year, so it’s been going pretty well. We have a few regulars that come and go. There’s not been many we’ve ever had to cancel fortunately. We chance the rain sometimes, even if it’s a bit iffy, and see how it goes”.
Tim has a disability that affects his communication and he uses a power wheelchair, so co-hosting together has been a process of learning how to communicate and share the responsibilities for the group.
“I help Tim where he needs the help but I don’t fuss… I enjoy co-hosting with Tim, and we’ve socialised privately a couple of times, we have a drink now and again when he’s free.”
Through his hosting role, Garry has developed meaningful friendships with people in his community, offering heartfelt and genuine offers of support in times of need. Like Ken, who came along to the BBQ almost every fortnight until he became sick. Garry spent a lot of time at Ken’s hospital bedside, keeping him company, until he passed away a few months ago.
“I was 5 minutes walk on from where Ken was, and I spent some time with him. I held his hand. It’s something I would like… I would like people to care about me if I was in a similar situation”.
A friend of Ken’s who, over the months, had become another regular at the BBQ, felt this loss deeply. Garry gently extended an offer of support to him through a difficult time and the two have since developed a friendship that’s taken on a life of its own outside of the weekly group.
“They both had an interest in model trains and after Ken, it left a hole for him, I think. But then I started talking about our model boat club, and he’s picked that up as an interest now. We were at the lake yesterday, and we’ve gone out a couple of times to do different things.”
Community Builder Lee describes Garry as someone who ‘just notices little needs that people have and quietly steps in to help’, and this sings through in almost every interaction Garry shared with us.
“Me and my next door neighbour drive each other to the Burns Beach Sunset Walk on alternate weeks. We’ve developed a good friendship living side by side. When her husband wasn’t too well, we’d go on a few walks and I’d bike ride with him to help him along as he needed a bit of encouragement to get out and get a bit more active”.
Garry also helps run the senior’s group at his church where over 100 people come together socially every week. Garry shares that through volunteering, he’s also continuing to discover more about himself along the way.
“Yeah I do like to help people. Interrelating with people is good and it’s enjoyable. Plus I’ve started doing some artwork there which I never knew I could do! Just a few paintings… landscapes”.
Whilst Garry has the spirit of a natural community builder, he struggles to see himself in that light. “You don’t really think about it do you..? You just do it.”
He also acknowledges that bringing strangers together is something that has taken time, practice and perseverance.
“I can be a bit shy with new people. I have improved to what I was… this [Befriend activities] have probably helped that. Once I know people, I’m okay, but I can be a bit reserved at first.”
When it comes to welcoming new locals to the BBQ, the group organically shares the responsibilities.
“I acknowledge new people when they come along. I talk to them and make them feel welcome. But I’m often busy at the BBQ so a lot of the others in the group support new people in that way”.
In an effort to help members of the local community to feel more at ease with the idea of coming along for the first time, Garry often puts up a photo or leaves a comment on Meetup so people can get a sense of what it’s like. “A picture speaks a thousand words. I think it might make it a bit more inviting”, he says.
When he looks back on his journey to becoming closer to community in his retirement, Garry shared that he’s softened into the experience.
“I’ve learnt to relax a little bit more with people and interact. I used to, maybe be a bit uptight about things, I’m not sure why… some of that might be just a lack of confidence or self esteem. But I’m able to relax and enjoy it more, and it’s been good meeting some new people”.
Garry’s big hope for the future is to see the BBQ group grow once again.
“I’d like to get back to a bigger crew, as we’ve lost some members… a few have drifted off. Hopefully the weather will help with that, we have had a dismal few months this winter”.
You can find Garry and other locals at the Burns Beach Sunset Walk every Friday evening and at Neil Hawkins Park BBQ’ing every other Monday lunchtime… rain or shine!